Sanity Not Required.

When you’re a female, it seems as though relationship status and name changes are rather synchronous. When you’re single you’re a miss, and when you’re married you’re a missus. It’s as if everyone has altogether forgotten the deliciously vague and gender-equalizing mizz.

Why, exactly, is that? We’re living in a day and age when women have more say and power than ever. Even though women fall into the minority group (sociologically speaking) at a whopping 52% of the population, it is only because we, as women, tend to perpetuate the cycle which allow men their dominance – even if we don’t know we’re doing it. When I refer to women as being in the minority, I obviously am not referring to the numbers (because in that case, we would be the majority). I am, however, referring to the  balance of power in our society. It can’t be denied that, though women have come far, men still generally have the upper hand – they have more power allotted to them based on the the simple fact that their chromosomes read XY. Names and labels in society are good examples, like mailman, policeman, fireman, etc., which all end in man (as opposed to gender neutral titles like clerk or judge). But I digress.

My bone to pick is not with the names of jobs in society, but rather to the names that we give ourselves as women. Too many women choose to be Mrs. or Miss without thinking of what that truly means. Men, regardless of marital status always remain mister - from diapers to cane the title never changes and the last name never waivers. Women, though, change something as simple and as basic, something that is so utterly themselves, as their names, purely based on relationship status.

Despite that most women are intelligent and strong, successful in their own right, many choose the defining factor of how they refer to themselves to be whether they’re married or not. All Mrs. means is married woman, and all Miss means is single woman. Why do we give these titles to ourselves? Men don’t have titles meaning married man or single man, because they don’t find the need for them. Instead they have the generic title, mister, giving no more information about that person save for the fact that he is a man. It doesn’t seem right to me, therefore, that people (both men and women alike) feel the need to classify women as such. Society has made it so commonplace, however, that referring to ourselves in such a way seems normal, making it seem as though being simply a woman in itself isn’t good enough. As far as I’m concerned, though, there really doesn’t really seem to be any relevance in making a statement with our marital status in something that is so individual and personal as our own name.

I know that many women look forward to the day when they take on their husband’s name, becoming the little missus, and to you and say that’s fine, to each their own. The problem, though, is that I feel we’ve brought things that are purely personal into societal applicability, and most of us don’t even give it a second thought, no one truly analyzes what it is their name says about them. In truth, though, whether a woman is married or not has no true bearing on her position in society, making her no better or worse of a person. As far as I’m concerned, only education can do that.

That is why I suggest we bring back the rarely heard, but ever perfect term, mizz. The reciprocal of mister, mizz simply means woman – leaving out marital status altogether. By choosing to go by Ms. we tell society that we are simply women, who don’t value ourselves solely on whether we have locked down a man or not, but as individuals who only have our accumulated knowledge and abilities to bring to the table, whatever those may be.

To make a note, I am not a radical, ball-busting feminist. I’m not saying that women need to be in control of men, put them down, or even push them to take their last names in marriage. I’m simply saying they shouldn’t be afraid. They shouldn’t fear being or not being in a relationship because of how people will think of them. They shouldn’t be afraid that men, or women even more unfortunately, may call them man-hating, hairy-legged feminists. They simply should not let fear consume them, because, in truth, they would only taking back what rightfully belongs to them – the most essential part of  their being: their names. And I’ve gotta say, it’s about time.

A side note: I highly recommend The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, which has remained a strong source for women’s empowerment since 1963. A book that promotes a woman’s individual worth rather than the worth she holds within family context, it’s a wonderful read and great to pass off to girlfriends. The Feminine Mistake, however, by Leslie Bennetts is an atrocity and a detriment to women everywhere. Although I am strong proponent of free speech, this book only does women a disservice, telling them the way to be a strong woman is to nag, complain and punish your man into subservience (which certainly does not help society’s view of feminists at all). I am highly against book  burning, but I would have no problem throwing this piece of junk on top of a flaming pile.